I won't close my eyes, they're on to you
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Jy.scott Born into this world on 181088 Previously from; Toa Payoh Medodist Church. Pei Chun. Sembawang Sec. NYP. Berufsakademie Mosbach, Germany. Physical Training Instructor in the Army. Currently in University of Queensland, Brisbane Australia!! |
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Wednesday, September 21, 20117:43 AM
"Strong people know how to keep their life in order. Even with tears in their eyes, they still manage to say "I'm ok" with a smile. Send this to a strong person. I just did." I smiled for a moment, but then stopped to think about it. I felt undeserving of it. I'm not strong. I cringe and crumble under stress easily. And start to emit my negative emotions. How is this strong? He's right, coming to think of it. "It's hard to get a 4." Well, I managed to get 2 of them. How the hell can I get a 4 after a mid semester grade like that? I would have to fail my final paper. Which I did. No need to call for a re-mark. I know it myself. Summing all up. Easily one of the worst GPA attained, if not the worst in the entire batch. New semester. I felt prepared. But still. Crumbled under pressure. Stupid mistakes. Forgetting important information. Same story. Different day. Always holding high expectations in whatever I start on. Only to be hugely disappointing in the end. In everyone's eyes. In my own eyes. Depressing Emotionally drained. I'm not smart. I know. Someone told me so too. I take a longer time to understand than others. Probably double the time. Or even longer. Just typed in a Google search, 'how to become smarter?' You might think I'm a nutter. But I'm desperate. Desperate to turn things around. Desperate to get things right for a change. It's not working for me at the moment. "Father, Father, Father. Send some guidance from above." I'm at my crossroads. Feeling. Feeling that I will never succeed in life. - I am Me. It's just Me. |
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